Sentimentality

Last night was one of those nights. Last night was one of those nights that grabs at you and holds on... Last night was one of those memorable nights. Not for the events that transpired, I suppose, but instead for the small things that made this night grand. The mist on the mountains, the rain and how it fell, the way the evening light settled upon my little Ketchikan, Alaska.

I'll miss this all when I'm gone. Deep down I will always be a person of this rainforest and its habits.
I drove through the island and I was filled with admiration; never in my life would I declare anything as more beautiful than my bit of nature. When I got home, I stood in the rain for a while and I let the drops curl my hair.

I want to leave. I want to go to Finland, live in Kuopio, and become a Finn. I want to learn the language and think all the thoughts of Suomi that I can. I want to leave so badly because I know it is my time to go out into this world and do all that I have dreamt of doing- but I will always and irrevocably hold a love for Ketchikan in my heart.

Yesterday morning I received a card and a photo from my kindergarten teacher. The card was beautifully designed with a beautiful message inside, telling me that I was destined for great things and reminding me of my scholarly roots. The photo showed me at 5 years old with a grin half full of teeth and eyes brimming with excitement. I'm poised as if I almost want to run off- an adventurous spirit already developed. And most of all, I am wearing the colors of the Finnish flag. If only 5 year old Alexa Zelensky could see where 18 year old Alexa Zelensky was going.

To a brighter future than had ever been imagined.

The Nitty-Gritty

My visa information has arrived.

I checked my email today, somewhat pessimistically, thinking that I'd only have spam. But the very first new email in my inbox was an urgent one from AFS: "IMPORTANT - AFS Finland Visa Instructions" read the subject line. On the side I saw a little vibrant red exclamation point. I couldn't believe it at all.

I suppose I've entered that part of the pre-foreign exchange that gets really hard. The really hard, really exciting part where things start to feel a bit more real- even if only a little bit. I've got my host family (whom, I'd like to add, I feel so lucky to be spending these upcoming months with, and I can't wait to meet them), I've got an approximate departure date (24 August- 127 days!), and I've made some really amazing friends from all over the world who are going to Finland in the upcoming months too (if you're going to Finland in a few months too with AFS, and you're on Facebook, leave me a comment or something! I can add you to the AFS Suomen group so you can meet the rest of us). The only thing that I seemed to be missing was my visa, and for the most part, I had put that out of my mind. I thought I wouldn't have to organize all the paperwork until next month or so. But today I had my pleasant surprise, although it is a bit intimidating too.

The first thing I need to do to obtain my visa is to fill out a residency permit that AFS sent me. My first impression of the form was that it seemed very straightforward, and that Finnish stationary looks pretty damn cool. I respect a country that has really good stationary. But besides being on a great piece of stationary, the residency permit itself looks a bit challenging (I'm really afraid that I'll mess up somehow), and AFS says that the Finland visa is one of the longer visas to complete probably because... I'll also have to go to the nearest Finnish consulate (about 600 miles away from me) and have them help me finish the visa application. I suppose I don't really know what happens after that in the whole process.

Now comes the real nitty-gritty part. The part where I set my focus and try to accomplish what I need. The future just seems to be starting for me, and I can't... believe it. It is so immensely hard to fathom what's about to happen to me. I have spent so many years in my tiny little town, on my tiny little island wondering what it would be like to really go out into the world and experience things. What it would be like to be able to say that I've lived a life much different than that of Ketchikan, Alaska- because not many people do that, and I want to be one of them. And now that the moment's fast approaching, I feel that this is all unreal. I feel like I'll wake up soon and find that I'm an eighth grader who doesn't know what to do with her life or where to go. But in a few months I'll get on a plane for New York City, and then I'll meet the future.

4,220 Miles

That's how far it is between Ketchikan, Alaska and Kuopio, Finland.

I received my host family placement today! I really don't like those blogs that has a whole bunch of capital letters and a lot of exclamation points, but I have to become one of those right now. I HAVE A HOST FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm done. But those words and exclamation points do not accurately describe how I feel right now. For the past few days, I have been intensely thinking about my host family... and so when I woke up today and casually checked my email, there was a small thought in my head that said, "Oh, there will be an email from your host family!" but I've been thinking that for about a week so I tried to ignore that thought. But when it went to my inbox there were two new emails from AFS- one telling me that I had a host family, and the other giving me the website where I could find all that information. I stared blankly and the screen and ran to my mother's bedroom, and we read through the information together. I started screaming when I found out where I would be living (so that was a nice wake up for my mother).

Let's get down to the details!
Next year, as I stated earlier, I will be living in Kuopio, Finland -which, by the way, was the city that I wanted to live in the MOST! So I got my dream city. It feels amazing, I'll have you know. I have two host parents, Liisa and Vesa. I have FIVE host siblings -Eemeli, Taneli, Anni, Antti, and Aapeli- which is an amazing contrast to my life right now, because I have no siblings normally. They also have a big dog, Howavart! And Howavart will be a good friend to me next year because I will miss my dog Emma very much.

Kuopio, my host city, is a city of 97,552 people (according to Wikipedia). Ketchikan is a town of 14,000 in the borough, so I am super excited to move to a big city! It could be considered the "Archipelago City" of Finland. Kuopio is like an archipelago in the sense that it is situated on and throughout Lake Kallavesi, on the edges of it and on islands inside it. It's very spread out. I really like that, because it's kind of like my town right now! Ketchikan is in the Alexander Archipelago in Alaska.
 
                                                      This is Kuopio! Courtesy of Wikipedia.

And now I've got about 5 months until I leave. In those 5 months I will turn 18, I will graduate from high school, I will get a visa for Finland, I will say goodbye to my friends and family, and I will leave on the biggest adventure of my life. The feelings I have right now cannot be measured- I want to cry with happiness and with sadness, I want to smile because all this news is amazing, I want to dance, I want to scream (in a good way), and I want to go! Most of all I want to go to Finland because this whole exchange is such an amazing opportunity for me.

My parents are sad though, and that's expected. They are very excited for me too! But my mom had that look in her eyes this morning. She said to my father, "When our baby flies the nest, she sure flies far. She has big wings." She consoled herself by also saying, "All that's between you and me, Alexa, is Russia and Sarah Palin!"
Which is very, very true. :)